Surgery and Sacraments

I had to have surgery today - nothing exciting - just a stent in my kidney to help stuff get where it needs to go. It was, however, urgent enough that they looked am my CT scan and said "This has to happen today - now... we're getting you an OR," and serious enough that I had to be put under general anesthesia. That meant no food or drink - absolutely nothing - including the Eucharist.

I said a Rosary and a Divine Mercy chaplet. I prayed from my heart for a while, and made an act of contrition for a few venial sins I haven't had a chance to confess yet. Friends prayed; people lit candles. I was at peace - I felt a beautiful, total trust in God as well as the Hope of life and grace here and beyond. I still wanted the Eucharist. There is no substitute for Him. I believed it before; now I've lived it.

God isn't confined by the Sacraments. His grace is sufficient for all of us in all things, and He works in ways we can't possibly imagine. I felt completely taken care of - physically by the excellent staff at Alta View hospital, emotionally by loving friends and family, and spiritually by the Great physician - the One who gave me life in the first place and continues to love and guide and form me. But the Sacraments are a special Grace, and nothing on my end can stand in for them. I can't express what my heart has come to understand about these Channels of God's grace. As I meditate on this experience I hope to be able to find words to articulate what I've learned.

I'm profoundly grateful to have access to this Source of Grace - the Sacraments of the Catholic Church. I'm deeply sorry for the times I haven't taken advantage of them, haven't opened my heart and soul to God. I pray for those who have to go through any sort of pain or difficulty without knowing that they are Loved by Love Himself. I praise God for revealing Himself to the world and personally revealing Himself to me. I'm thankful to know of His Goodness and Mercy and Love. I'm thankful for the Saints who have gone before me and exemplified the Love of God working in them and through them - I'm especially grateful that their witness doesn't stop at their death - that God continues to work through their prayers and intercessions. And I'm thankful for the saints God had placed in my life to smile at me with, hug me with, make soup for me with, etc. I hope and pray to offer that Love to other people, and I'm sorry for the times I haven't.

Father, may my gratitude for Your Love - perfectly exemplified in our Lord Jesus Christ and perfectly bestowed though the Sacraments of Your Church - open my heart to You and to my neighbor. May my thankfulness strengthen my devotion to the Sacraments and the Church you have entrusted them too. Please use me a a channel of Your grace as I promised to be in my Baptism, and please make me holy to do all of this for Your glory. Through Jesus Christ, Amen.

Blessed Mother, thank you for your love and prayers. Please keep up the good work.